's 8 night. Even better would be to speak of the critical hour.
There are still doing homework, the shoes are quite dusty, poor get the baked chicken and the dad is coming to face one day have been fatal. What a wonderful, thought to be inside the mother, which my kids cooperate a little more. They're pretty big!
But is it just a "little" what ought to expect a teen mom, or what would be fair to put the shoulder every day?
Antes de hablar sobre la ayuda que podríamos pedir a los hijos, hay que referirse al tema de "no dar más trabajo" del que ya existe en la casa, lo que, por cierto, no es nada fácil de conseguir: que no entren con los pies embarrados, que no dejen la cocina inmunda cada vez que la usan. Es decir, mucho antes de pedir ayuda a los hijos en la casa, hay que haberles inculcado el no dar más trabajo, y es entre los 7 y los 11 años, principalmente, cuando los niños adquieren determinados hábitos de sana convivencia familiar:
- La ropa sucia no se tira al suelo, sino que se deja en el lugar indicado.
- Los desperdicios se tiran al basurero, no en cualquier parte.
- Las toallas se dejan colgadas en la percha, no tiradas en el suelo.
- Las puertas no se abren ni cierran a patadas, porque se ensucian y rompen.
- Al llegar del colegio las mochilas y el uniforme se dejan ordenados, no esparcidos por la escalera.
Estos son signos de buena crianza. O detalles, dirán otros, pero que cuando los padres no los han cultivado y exigido con perseverancia, generan, después, other problems in adolescence. The children do not value the work of others, or what it means to live in an orderly home, and their implications in the use and exploitation of available resources. Shall not be considered part of a team where they do or do not do affects others.
Therefore, when children have been trained since childhood to implement these habits, the daily work of the house looks quite relieved. Only then can we think to ask certain contributions to our children. These "aids" can be divided into three groups:
- Decisions involving himself: to maintain his room, desk and closet organized, put his clothes for the next day, make the bed the weekend.
- Those that are related to the coexistence and involve rapid provision of assistance: answering the phone rather than let it ring until the other side gets bored, pick up what's lying, stretch the carpet to avoid the next landing on the floor.
- Those that relate to the welfare of others: to buy bread, washing ...
Nobody benefited the child
That a son to take over their own affairs should be a continuing obligation, because although apparently this help is a relief for the mother and the maid The biggest beneficiary is himself. Much better for him to know where to put the black jacket and he hid the first letter of the friend, who spend hours and hours looking.
may sound harsh to say and more parents hear it, but if a child between 12 and 16 years is not able, at least, than worry about things, no one but the parents are responsible. Why? For the overprotective and treat it as a small child when it is not or because they have not given a minute to recognize their abilities. Case in point: the father who asks his son of 12 that will plug the hole, before which the child, astonished, replies: "Great, if today was not allowed to touch the plugs!" Or because they feel the "inexhaustible wealth syndrome" that mother that when her daughter was 15 years study trip was requested, please do not come back with all the dirty underwear. Easy, he thought his daughter, and bounced away.
Join a team
will be much easier to get any kind of help, to the extent that we see our children that the house is not a board where you eat and sleep, but a home. And, therefore, parents and children must understand that all these "aid" are not just for the house to "work", but that there is more harmony.
Every day, countless situations arise that require the assistance of all: the phone ringing, the lights on, no paper in the bathroom, etc.. It is therefore important to make clear that the family is a team and it is therefore essential that you use the bathroom spotless must leave to the next.
This type of aid, rather than required, they are taught, which requires perseverance and, of course, for example.
Can I replace it?
Finally, aid is related to the welfare of others and that make up the dream of some parents: their children to replace in tasks that correspond to them: the purchase of the house or studying with the younger siblings.
All families will comes time to use these orders, either because the mother works in an office, because there is an employee is out of doors, or simply because it is a large family. But here the parents should be aware that it is only an aid and in no way relieves them of being responsible for it in the pantry is not a can of tuna or that the Theresa might have gone wrong with the math test.
must be careful in this regard, to avoid the temptation to ask adolescents orders familiar to those who are not yet mature. Here the wisdom of parents in proposing aid is essential. Must be specific and ask them for a limited time only serves as requested be rotated among siblings of similar ages. The idea is that the order did not seem like a punishment. Examples: pay some bills, cooking when the employee is or go get his brother to school.
not forget to ask for some help does not interrupt, unless necessary, their obligations, duties, hours of study, school commitments, nor stand in their views. The most logical and sensible, "is that if the Sabbath is invited to a barbecue, go and not be washing dishes.
In practice
managers should consider as a partnership and not as a required task. Hence the importance of showing children that they are made for the love of family and home.
- Good appeal to children, although there is household help. Ultimately, any work performed within the home, is home to good habits.
- Orders should be allocated regardless of the sex of recipient. Life has many turns and is very useful that a man knows how to make toilet and a woman can fix a plug. Should be given the opportunity to learn to do everything at home.
- Between 12 and 16 years is the stage of the lugs. They are larger but also more disjointed. It may not be appropriate to ask them to be responsible for washing dishes, unless the slab is downright cheap.
- a "no" payment for favors granted. From time to time I will not misspell a small reward, but from there to set it as a policy home would be fatal. Will never love anything or home or to others.
- No, also to the inconsistency of the parents. Signal is bad for children if they see their parents treating them like children at times, sometimes as adults. If they send them alone to do some processing of the father, although they can go alone to the house of a friend (obviously, if distance and time do not pose a risk).
"Why not me it help?"
- For correcting you go back and doing it all again. We must tolerate the rumpled bed, the covered positions backward, poor rinsing dishes ... No one does things right the first time. Your child will feel important if you believe and believe in him and his abilities.
- Because we know how to ask the right help. First look and see what the natural abilities of each child. Do not ask him to keep it sharper dishes.
- Because you're a neat freak and likes that his house is spotless 24 hours a day. Wait a teenager when it ordered her school books or "move" to sweep the garden is patience and tolerate the mess for a while. Check the attack and, once requested aid, do not you.
- Because, perhaps unwittingly, is overprotective, you no longer remember what he could do at that age, but more of what you think. Children from lower income families are far more autonomous and since very little alone go shopping, take their siblings to school and take care while parents are at work.
Entre Familia Soy Feliz
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