Thursday, November 26, 2009

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Making leisure


Leisure to stimulate the development
Here are some practical ideas to encourage the development of skills in language, communication and critical thinking in children. They are playful, to be developed at a time when the family is gathered:

1. Talk to your child (ren): Children learn words and concepts about the world when you listen and talk with other people, which prepares them for success in reading. Have long conversations with their sons or daughters, talk during the day on its activities and those of boys or girls, give continuity to the boys or girls say or sing their favorite songs.

Examples: words
Rating:
name all animals that could. Name all the foods you can.
Talk about how things are alike and different:

what resemble a cat and a dog? How are they different? How does look like a car and a bus? How are they different? Define and explain
words What is a cat? What is a bicycle? What is a notebook?
Name: Naming things in a book or things that are around you.
Talk about the characteristics of what surrounds us: The birds have beaks and feathers, fish have scales and fins, the trees have leaves and bark


2. Read with your child (ren) each day: Read a book together is an excellent opportunity for a family to share. Provides an opportunity for children to learn many words new and gives the opportunity to extend their knowledge of the world. Reading to children helps them understand basic concepts about reading, for example, the direction in which turning the pages and read from left to right. Read a book shows children the sounds associated with letters, that letters form words, words form sentences. Search
adequate time to read every day, for example, before bedtime or after meals. Lean

fairy tales and other factual information such as information books, children's magazines and supplements in the newspapers. Read a book strengthens critical thinking skills. Ask
your son or daughter to bring the book's cover, title, start reading and let him turn the pages to read. This will help you learn how books work.
Add some drama to your voice, act out different characters and try to be part of history.
Explain the meaning of words that are new to him and ask him questions about what they read. Try to imagine the situation of the characters in the story, it will be quite an adventure.
can try to write and draw on the reading, make up a story like change parts of the story.

3. Playing with sounds: doing the following activities, children can begin to create an awareness that words are made up of sounds, which in turn correspond to the letters. It is very helpful to start with the name of children, as this is very meaningful to them.
Play games with words that end as well as Anna Banana so they can play with sounds.

Look around and ask them to find things that start with a sound. Play
behalf of their sons or daughters is very entertaining. You can write and cut to form a puzzle. Write your name on personal items will help them to recognize it quickly.
Try looking in magazines and newspapers with a specific letter, recórtenla, paste it and search for things that start with the sound of that letter.

4. Write with your child (ren): Ideally, different materials have to perform the following activities. Give them
paper, markers, crayons, pencils, scissors, glue, old magazines, papers and other materials we have around us.
Encourage them to dare to write something ... even with squiggles ... a shopping list, a letter to a relative, a history, instructions and recipes for something that interests them. At the beginning, children begin to express graphically with symbols and squiggles, as they move through the process to write invented spelling, normal stage of this process. Later the children will know the basic rules of spelling. It is important to allow them to express their level and not force, because above all we want is that children feel able to express their thoughts and words graphically.

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What is the dynamics of domestic violence?



In all domestic violence exists as a cycle, a circle passing through three major phases. This syndrome occurs or withdrawal symptoms. As I said, is learned.
The first phase of this cycle is psychological abuse, are created tensions between husband and wife, these tensions are rising. Starting with insults and contempt and that it grows, scream and get a moment (it does not reach the overnight) it is an explosion of anger and a woman is beaten. The first phase is psychological abuse that ends in an explosion of physical abuse, injuries and bruises.

The second part of this cycle is called the period of reconciliation. The first man realizes what he has done and then it becomes a little more friendly and even brought flowers to women. Apologizes, does everything it can to convince her that you really love, especially if it threatens to spread. This conduct "loving" complete victimization.
Why? The third phase is a period of ambivalence. The woman does not know what to do. She tells herself: "Yes, it hit me, but otherwise is affectionate, has brought me flowers ..." Spend some time and turn around the circle to the first phase. Tensions begin, and grow again and hitting the space between the first and the second is shorter. Cycle back again.

The man who beats his wife, especially if you do it several times, if not put on treatment will not cure. Do not expect anyone to to heal. If she stays with him, the cycle will start again and beatings will be increasingly repeated. The motivation in women, who at first had the desire to separate or ask for help, ever going to slow more. Grows its lack of hope, no longer has the strength to protest. Becomes passive and "submissive", not the submission of the Gospel, but a slave.

must understand clearly the words of the Gospel, there is no true submission, if there is no respect for the individual. In this case, the woman ends in utter helplessness. So call it: desamparoNota Syndrome: Based on lectures by Dr. Jesus Arina, psychologist


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What is the personality of the abuser?




"Separation or threat abusers feel about their family structure increases the hazard by 75%, to the point of carrying out the death threat , says English psychiatrist José María Semele. Abusers, "he continues often come from violent homes, where they have been mistreated, and those who have been abused, usually. These people often suffer from psychological disorders, many of them use substances such as alcohol, that enhance their aggressiveness. They have a certain profile of immaturity, dependency, ... insecurity, are emotionally unstable, anxious and impulsive. Abusers usually aggressive move that has accumulated in other areas to their wives. They also consider women as some of their property. Within their disease, repentance is common, and women misinterpret this repentance, that's only temporary until the next blow. "

(From" If there is love and respect, "published in" Alpha and Omega " , No. 247/15-11-2001, Madrid, Spain.)

The abuser tends to be an isolated, not much related to others, is jealous even of his own shadow, has low self-esteem. This is a feature that always has a self-esteem as a result of soil, which causes frustration and frustration brings violence. It also has a rigid expectations of gender roles as a man. This is the typical male. And sexism is covering what is a complex of inferiority, low self-esteem. So try to pretend it is not. Generally

abusers who beat, that hurt, have a soft side. There are many highly educated, even religious.
After a decade of research, two psychology professors (Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Neil Jacobson) have concluded that abusive men fall into one of two categories: the "pit bull" or dog and the "cobra" or snake. Then, the individual characteristics of each.

"Pit bull" is violent
only with people you love.
is jealous and afraid to give it up.
deprives his wife or girlfriend of their independence.
soon to anger, to monitor and publicly attack his partner.
Your body reacts violently during an argument.
has some potential for rehabilitation.
probably has not been charged with any crime.
probably had an abusive father.

"Cobra"
is very likely aggressive worldwide.
not emotionally dependent on another person, but insists that his partner should do what he wants forever.
is more likely to threaten with knives or guns.
house is quiet, as becomes aggressive.
is difficult to treat with counseling. Possibly
has been charged with any crime.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.

The two aforementioned psychologists explain in their book "When Men Batter Women (Simon and Shuster), that" OJ Simpson is a 'pit bull' showing typical ... more monstrous behavior only with the woman he loves . The "pit bull" continually spy on women believing that this is cheating on him. It is a very jealous husband or boyfriend. To all the people who treat you like him, except for their girlfriends or wives.

On the other hand, the "cobra" is often a sociopath. It is cold and calculating, easily deceived his victim and may be a sadist. Their violence stems from his pathological need to get away with it, be the boss forever, and make sure everyone (including his wife) knows that he is the boss.

After his wife has been physically abused and afraid, sometimes stops this kind of abuse and replace it with a constant psychological abuse, through which lets you know his victim, that physical abuse could go at any time.
The research psychologists, authors of the book on the subject cited above, concluded that abuse rarely stops by itself.

Note: This information was taken from the article "Battered Women Face Pit Bulls and Cobras", published in the newspaper "New York Times", March l7, l998. The author is Jane E. Brody.

John Broadshaw states in his book "Homecoming", that "inner child" hurt a person can take to behave violently and cruelly. The person does not assume responsibility for their actions because they think the culprits are the others. In the case of battered wife, for example, a violent man she blames for his own actions.

Sometimes the abuser's violence hidden fear or insecurity, terror he felt as a child with an abusive father who beat him frequently. By becoming an adult prefers to take the personality of the abusive father to feel weak and scared. In other cases, the wrongs are the result of a childhood during which very permissive parents indulged the child at all. This leads children to believe than to become an adult and think he is above the law. In other words, you can do whatever they want and abusing anyone. Think you deserve special treatment, better than that given to

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WHAT IS PEACE? How do you know



When we think of peace, the first thing that comes to mind is the absence of war. But peace is much more than that.

and planting comprises an amount of work that includes preparing the land, outlining the grooves, seed selection, choose the appropriate time to gather materials and tools to be used, not only made to introduce the seeds on earth, peace also means many things.

La Paz involves preparing the ground so that no circumstances arise that could jeopardize.

Peace requires tolerance, justice, equality, solidarity, and also the responsibility of rulers, who have the destiny of peoples in their hands, to make sound decisions that make good common.

La Paz is nourished by the good intentions, education, communication, commitment, respect.

La Paz is present in every moment of the day, the bread on the table, in the dignity of the worker who earns his living honestly, in the friendly of a public employee in preparing young people for well, in the migratory flight of birds, a child who learns to care for a tree, a grandfather who smiles in a baby's first nap in the evolution of mankind toward its higher destiny in the progress of applied science to healing, respect for Mother Earth, sacred, by the river, for our animal brethren, by the first inhabitants of this land for ourselves ...
Peace is the tranquility of the soul, which is enriched by the love and practice it.
Peace is peace, joy, serenity, depth of thought and joy in living.

All that is La Paz ...

And so much more we can discover every moment ... if we are lucky to live in peace.

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live psychological violence?



Symptoms:
a) Verbal abuse: Lowering , insult, ridicule, humiliate , using mind games to confuse and irony, etc.
b) Intimidation: Scaring with looks, gestures or shouting. Throwing objects or destroying property.
c) Threats: De wound, kill, kill, take the children.
d) Financial abuse: Control abusive finance, monetary rewards or punishments, prevent it from working though necessary for the support of their family.
e) Sexual abuse: Imposing contraceptive use, pressure to abort, sexual contempt, imposition of sex against your will or contrary to nature.
f) Isolation: Control abuse each other's lives by monitoring their actions and movements, listening to their conversations, impediments to cultivate friendships, etc.
g) Contempt: Treat others as inferior, make important decisions without consulting the other.

to recognize symptoms victim of domestic violence:
a) Have you cried yourself to sleep by being beaten or insulted by your husband?
b) Have you hidden wounds or bruises staying at home, or getting dark glasses?
c) Have you ever said to yourself: "This situation will improve, I have patience? Do not kid yourself. With this submissive attitude encourages the abuser to continue the same or worse.

Domestic Violence and Divorce: A
frequent violence in families of divorce: Using children as a battleground to settle their hatred, resentment or inability to talk like adults. Abused children when one parent speaks ill of another or when they are forced to carry messages of frustration and guilt among parents. With that all done damage, but the most affected is usually the messenger.

Note: This last sentence is based on the book "Notes on life and faith," Dr. Jesus Arina, Miami, Florida.

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What is the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


By Dr. Jesus Arina

Currently, the problem of domestic violence against women is so serious that it is comparable with the problem of AIDS. Of 2-4000000 women annually are abused by their partner, husband, boyfriend or lover. Between 15 and 25% of those women are pregnant, which makes the problem even worse.

National statistics show that the battered wife is more damage and need more help and medical treatment to those affected by rape, car accidents and assaults, as a whole. Battered women constitute 20% of women attending emergency services with injuries.

Domestic violence is not always easy to define or recognize. In general terms we could describe it as the deliberate use of force to control or manipulate the couple or their offspring.

is psychological abuse, sexual or physical routine. Happens between people involved emotionally, such as husband and wife or adults against children living in same household.

Domestic violence is not only physical abuse, beatings or injuries. They are even more terrible psychological violence and sexual trauma caused, physical violence, everyone can see. There is violence when it attacks the emotional or spiritual integrity of a person.

But physical violence is always the most obvious, is preceded by a pattern of psychological abuse, which is used systematically to degrade the victim, to undermine and crush the self-esteem of women.

Psychological violence is detected with more difficulty. Who has suffered physical violence is visible traces can be achieved more easily help. However, the victim has scars on the psyche or soul, it is more difficult to get sympathy and help. Too difficult, for example, the manipulative skill of her husband presented his wife as exaggerated complaints.

A precedes physical violence, sometimes, years of psychological violence. Psychological violence is, to despise women, so insulting, that there comes a time when the battered woman psychologically, and believes that those hits you deserve it. And how difficult is to convince a woman to go to for help when you think you do not need it.

Some women are embarrassed by what is happening and believe that even deserving of abuse. Therefore they prefer to keep them secret and so this situation can last for years. Those who abuse their victims they do so according to a pattern of psychological abuse.
As in the case of the alcoholic, who hits a woman or physically or sexually abused, the first thing you do is deny it.

Denial is saying, "No, I hit him with reason." There is no reason to hit a woman, or anyone else. But they deny. They say: "I have not beaten, I would not done anything, just touching it."
Another form of psychological abuse is isolation. I have known cases in which ostracize the woman, nor speak, nor look at her and then she will believe you deserve such treatment.
Bullying is also an abuse. "If you say something I'll kill you." Many women do not dare to speak, by threats that their husbands or partners launched against them.

Another way into this pattern of psychological abuse is to blame the victim, a woman. Since the invention of excuses and that comes from Adam and Eve, one blames the other. Both
any drug addict and an abuser, always have excuses and blame someone.

met a woman whose husband beat her because it put "jeans." And I asked the husband: "You do preferred, to go with a short skirt?" I did not know that answer. I blamed her and beat her so. "No - I said - you do not hit the pants, but because you are an insecure person who does not believe in his mother. Has she given you reason to be jealous?" "No, she would not have missed" I replied. "Then why do you strike?"
also in the habit of psychological abuse is financial abuse. "If you say something I'll give you the monthly payment. "I saw a case where the wife left because she finally went to the police because nearly killed. The man grabbed her by the neck and choking. If not for the child more, he grabbed his father and made him a key, the killing. The 11 year old daughter called police. And this man said no, with all the blows that he still denied it. He called a lawyer and tried to take home to his wife.

The police came, raised his record and when next day the woman was told to ask: "A husband and release them." "How?" "For the sergeant signed the police report. "What women often have the and children? After this the man pushed a divorce, you feel offended, even though nearly killed before his sons. The woman has no money to pay lawyers.

Within that psychological abuse of husbands who beat (which is called in psychology the triangulation), another type of abuse: using children to make them feel guilty wives. In this case the children act as messengers, "Tell your mother ..."
threats by children, the threats that he will remove the child, these are all psychological abuse precedes physical abuse. I know what I predicted to a person at least 8 months earlier. I said, "Her husband is to beat. "No, he is incapable," she answered. And so it happened, though he is Minister of the Eucharist. Not to be Minister for what he has done this, but for not being a good minister.
All these abuses
prevent women leave the home, the violent home. is that the psychological beating it encounters many women, is more dreadful than physical abuse. Ask any woman to whom physically abused what it hurts most, if harsh words, the contempt or shock. The beats are passed, psychological abuse, insults, slights are stuck in the heart.

Note: Dr. Jesus Arina is a psychologist in private practice in Miami, Florida, USA

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